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The Lie of Silence and the Empowerment of Anger

31 Jan

I really dislike anger… I really dislike the emotion… I’ve been up close and personal to what anger can do to a person… and to one’s family… I’ve also known personally what it does to relationships (of the friend variety)… I’ve had things happen… I’ve learned from them… my family still lives in a constant state of anger… since those specific events in my life and the constant vibe’s from my family… I try my hardest to stay away from anger… I don’t like being angry… I like to let it go right away… move on… there is nothing I can do about it…accept it for what it is…

But I am so incredibly angry right now…

My therapist says that anger is healthy and that I actually need to use it as a tool to keep myself protected… to keep my boundaries up so that I can never be hurt like that again… she doesn’t want me to let it fester at all… eventually I need to let it go… but since the anger is so fresh (since late Tuesday night)… I need to utilize it to build my boundaries…

But my anger is sooooooo much right now… I can hardly think about anything else… I don’t like this… If I wasn’t so cold and keen on staying wrapped up in a blanket I could probably run like 10 miles (which is really saying something for me since I can’t even run a mile)… good thing I am not an aggressive person in any way shape or form!

but the thing is it isn’t just anger… it is a hurt like I have never felt before… and I have been hurt A LOT… I can’t describe the pain that I feel… I thought I knew what heartbreak was like before… but I literally can feel my heart breaking… the cruel event that has happened to me…

I’m just so infuriated b/c it is also my fault… I should have known better… I should have realized that certain people just can’t be trusted b/c they will ALWAYS hurt you… but for some reason I’ve just always believed everyone deserves second chances… even if it is there 100th second chance…

But I should have known better… I should have known it would happen… so I’m not only infuriated and hurt about the event… but I am sooooooooo angry at myself…

But I’m trying to learn from this… I’m trying to learn how to build my boundaries and never allow anything to happen to make me feel like this way ever again… but I’m afraid of building those boundaries up to the point that I will never let them down again…

But how do you get over anger like this? Go buy a punching bag?

I need to let it go… I don’t want to end up life my family… I’ve seen that… it is horrible… but I rather feel this anger than just the hurt… because then I don’t think I could get up in the morning…

So then should I let the anger go once the hurt has healed? Because it has to heal… I’m too angry not to make it heal b/c no one should have the power to make someone hurt like this…

urg…

some quotes for thought…

“When truth is replaced by silence,the silence is a lie.”
― Yevgeny Yevtushenko

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“The best lies are always at least partially true.”
– Laurell K. Hamilton

“A half- truth does more mischief than a whole lie.”
– Ivan Panin

“Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.”
– Malcolm X (1925 – 1965)

“I have a right to my anger, and I don’t want anybody telling me I shouldn’t be, that it’s not nice to be, and that something’s wrong with me because I get angry.”
– Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989

“It’s important for people to keep in mind that while anger is a feeling that everybody has, aggression is a choice.”
– Carole D. Stovall

“Anger is one of the ways God protects us. Anger is, in fact, a God-given experience. We have been given a divine emotional signal in our heads that tells us when we are getting too near the edge. Like semaphore lights at a dangerous train crossing, anger tells us to pay careful attention.”
– Paul Meier and Robert L. Wise

“Anger is fuel. We feel it and we want to do something. Hit someone, break something, throw a fit, smash a fist into the wall, tell those bastards. But we are nice people, and what we do with our anger is stuff it, deny it, bury it, block it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, muffle it, ignore it. We do everything but listen to it. Anger is meant to be listened to. Anger is a voice, a shout, a plea, a demand…. We are meant to use anger as a fuel to take the actions we need to move where our anger points us. With a little thought, we can usually translate the message that our anger is sending us.”
– Julia Cameron

“Anger is a fuel. You need fuel to launch a rocket. But if all you have is fuel without any complex internal mechanism directing it, you don’t have a rocket. You have a bomb.”
– Gil Scwartz

“Anger is not a sinful emotion. But how we act when we are angry may well be a sin.”
– Doris Moreland Jones

“Anger is our reaction to the violation of our boundaries.”
– Kathleen Dowling singh

“At the moment you become angry, you tend to believe that your misery has been created by another person. You blame him or her for all your suffering. But by looking deeply, you may realize that the seed of anger in you is the main cause of your suffering.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

“Anger is not the opposite of love, for the opposite of love is indifference. To be angry is to care tremendously. It is a signal that your caring extends beyond polite conversation, and that you are willing to risk a confrontation to share how you feel.”
– Doris Moreland Jones

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2 Comments

Posted by on January 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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2 responses to “The Lie of Silence and the Empowerment of Anger

  1. inspiredlivingkc

    January 31, 2013 at 11:11 PM

    I like the quote you found from Thich Nhat Hanh. I don’t know what happened… it sounds like the route of your anger could be towards yourself for allowing yourself to be in a position to be hurt. You don’t have to hang on to the anger, you can forgive yourself and learn from it to move forward. It is human to feel emotions, it is not healthy to hang on to them.

     
  2. willitbeok

    February 1, 2013 at 10:56 PM

    Those are some good, thought-provoking quotes about anger, in my opinion. I think that sometimes when we fight anger too much, that tends to make it worse. There’s probably a healthy balance between acting out on our anger, while also not letting it consume us. Sometimes I struggle finding that balance…

     

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