I wish life had a restart button. A restart button that would allow you to start again all the way from the beginning, a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, etc.
Unfortunately that doesn’t exist, so we have to move forward from where we are at and make something out of it.
Recently for some reason… the OCD has been winning… mostly the Pure O type but then I have the compulsion just to avoid life and hide in my bedroom.
Part of it is that I am overly tired and I’m stressing about my Best Friend’s wedding b/c it really is the only thing that is currently occupying my time. As we’ve discussed before I’m always tired… they think I may have mild narcolepsy but they can’t say for sure… either way though I need a new sleeping regime b/c what I’m doing isn’t good.
I’m at my parent’s house for the summer… who believe in waking up every morning between 6 and 7am… I’m not used to waking up till 9am at the earliest. You think though that if I just went to bed earlier this wouldn’t be a problem… but it is hard to b/c when my parents go to bed is when I can have my “alone time” which I desperately need… especially from my parents. And sometimes I just love it so much I extend it late into the night. I love my parents and don’t want to hurt their feelings by needing my alone time during the day with them… but I think I am going to have to start doing so in order that I actually sleep for 8+ hours at night.
I know I need to start working out again too… I’m just too tired to find the energy… but I need to force myself. I also need to start preparing for my PhD programs by casually reading articles and ardently working on my Spanish skills. As of right now I’ve just been reading and playing video games… which I LOVE TO DO but it doesn’t give me the structure that I need in life… that my OCD needs in life… which I think may have been what made this past year more difficult than it should have been… I just didn’t have any structure b/c I was giving everything up b/c my OCD was in the way.
So I’m putting into writing that I am going to do this and I need you guys to keep me accountable. PLEASE. Also if you have suggestions for anything that I should do I need to know… b/c I really have no idea how one starts to “work out” and eat well and such… so I’m just going with the basic walking/jogging in the morning, trying to eat right, and having things to do throughout the day.
Ok… So I’m publicizing the following…
Current Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 145 Goal Weight: 130
Current Loose Weight Plan: 3 mile walk/jog in the morning… Hit two birds with one stone by taking my puppy with me for part of it. Also record everything that I eat.. try not to eat over 1500 calories.
Activities: Find Something Creative to do (apparently this helps OCD people to do something creative). Work on Spanish 45min-1 hour a day. Read one to two scholarly articles a day (depending on length) or one to two scholarly book chapters (depending on length). Play with puppy!
I’ll post more as I think of it or if anyone gives me tips!